


Lo and Behold

by NerdsbianHokie



Series: What She's Missing [1]
Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, F/F, Internalized Homophobia, compulsory heterosexuality, references to past acts of homophobia
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-26
Updated: 2017-02-26
Packaged: 2018-09-27 03:46:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,090
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9955166
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NerdsbianHokie/pseuds/NerdsbianHokie
Summary: Cause I’m just a teenage dirt bag babyI'm just a teenage dirt bag babyListen to Iron Maiden baby with meORMaggie Sawyer moves to Midvale and hates that she has a crush on Alex Danvers





	

**Author's Note:**

> This was inspired by the Postmodern Jukebox cover of [Teenage Dirtbag](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Snh-ufvXWIk), because the line 'it's prom night and I'm so lonely' hits me with Maggie feels every time I hear it.

For the first seventeen years of her life, Maggie Sawyer had only seen the ocean on screens and in books.  She had never been able to wrap her mind around the existence of water you can’t see beyond, of water that stretched to the horizon.  All she knew were the few lakes around Blue Springs that were probably closer to ponds, and the Big Blue River, which the heat of the summer occasionally turned into a stream.

Seventeen years.

Then, her aunt moved to Midvale, and Maggie had gone with her, and suddenly the ocean was there.

Maggie couldn’t go anywhere without the ocean being there.

She could see it between houses as she rode her bike to school.  She could see it when she climbed onto the roof of her aunt's new house.  She ran on the trail parallel to it for over a mile on her morning run.

Well, maybe she didn’t have to run that route.

She probably shouldn’t.  The ocean creeped her out.

She couldn’t see the other side.  She had no idea what creatures were hiding in it.  She didn’t know how far out the drop-off was.

She had absolutely no reason to trust the ocean, had absolutely no reason to make herself get so close to it six mornings a week.

Except one.  One reason.

And fuck if that reason didn’t gnaw at her.

The move the Midvale was supposed to be her chance to start over.  To lay low for the few months until she graduated, until she could get the hell out of small towns and move on with her life.

Midvale wasn’t too bad, if she thought about it.  The high school had a decently sized GSA, and Maggie had yet to see slurs smeared on lockers.

That still didn’t make it right.

She still shouldn’t run the route she did just to catch sight of the girl on the surfboard.

To catch sight of Alex Danvers.

Maggie glanced towards the water, and sure enough, there she was.

Maggie looked forward, turning her focus back to the running path.

She had to stop.  She couldn’t keep perving on the girl.  No matter how good she looked in a wetsuit, or a bathing suit, or jeans and a t-shirt, or the sweaters she had worn Maggie’s first few weeks, when the temperatures had been in the sixties, or…

Maggie shook her head.

She could accept that she was gay, that she was a lesbian, but that didn’t mean she had to act on it.

She really needed to find another running route.

She quickly reached the playground in the sand that marked her turn-around point.  By the time she was passing Alex again, the girl was out of the water, sitting in the sand next to her board.

Maggie took one glance, taking in the sight of Alex’s back, the top half of her wetsuit hanging around her waist, before turning back to the path because no, no.  No.

She kept her eyes straight until she passed Alex, missing the way Alex looked over her shoulder and watched her.

* * *

The school day was hell.

Maggie’s chest constricted every time she caught sight of a prom poster.

The girls who sat in front of her during study block spent the entire time whispering about how great the night was going to be.  Maggie left the block with shaking hands.

The straps of her bag dug into her shoulders.  The physical weight of refusing to go to her locker hurting almost as much as the memories.

Her bag landed on the bench with a dull thud.  She slumped in her usual spot at the table in the back of the shaded area, and pulled her lunch out of her bag, quickly followed by her English textbook.  She absently picked at the peanut butter and jelly sandwich as she read.

Or, tried to read, tried to eat.

Her stomach felt like a solid mass.  Her brain was static.

She just had to get through the day, get through the night.  She just had to get prom behind her.

Laughter that rose over the general din of the commons pulled her attention from her book, to the circular table under the largest tree on campus.  The ‘cool kids’ table.  Where Alex Danvers sat.

Where Alex was practically sitting in Max Lord’s lap, his arm around her waist, his mouth right next to her ear as he whispered something to her.  Alex laughed before turning and briefly pressing her lips to his.

Maggie looked back to her book, hoping none of them had seen her looking. 

Max seemed exactly like the type who would beat her up for looking at his girl.  Just like the boys back in Blue Springs, except, he may have his goons do it instead.  Rich kid probably wouldn’t want to get his hands dirty.

She wasn’t able to eat any more of her sandwich before the bell rang, and just tossed it in the first trashcan she passed.

Hopefully, she would be able to eat once she got to her aunt's house.  Except, the thought of going to the house made her feel even worse.

Her aunt was expecting her to go to prom.  She thought it would be good for her.   _ Exposure therapy _ she had called it.

Maggie didn’t have the energy to deal with her questions, her badgering, her attempts to understand while failing completely.  Maggie didn’t have the energy to fight the ball of fear in her gut.

A shove from behind pushed her into a table, her hip catching the corner.  She winced.  She pushed herself against the table, staring at the ground, waiting for the rush to pass.

“Max!”

The voice pulled her attention up.  Alex was standing right there,  staring at her boyfriend, who was walking backwards.  He shrugged.

“What?  It was an accident.”

Alex sighed.  She was still rolling her eyes when she faced Maggie.

“Sorry about that,” she said.  “You okay?”

Maggie nodded, heart in her throat.

“Good.”

Maggie couldn’t breath.  The sun was behind Alex, haloing her in the most cliched way.  Maggie had never realized exactly how dark Alex’s eyes were.

“Alex!”

Maggie blinks as Alex looks away, towards Max.  Alex rolled her eyes again and let out an annoyed huff.

“Sorry, again.”

And she was gone.

* * *

Maggie’s toes dragged through the sand.  She kicked, throwing up a small spray, and watching it settle.  She sighed, and looked up at the water.

She stared at the waves, leaning her head against the chain holding the swing up.  The moon rippled in the water.  The stars were clear in the cloudless sky.

It figured.  The night would be perfectly romantic, taunting her with what she could never have.

The kids at prom were lucky, though.

She glanced at her watch.  It was just past ten.  She figured if she waited another hour, her aunt would be asleep, and she wouldn’t have to answer any questions.

“Hey.”

Maggie breath caught in her chest.  Her grip on the chain tightened.  Her muscles tensed.

Maggie turned enough to see who was talking, and…

Wow

Alex Danvers

Red dress

Walking towards her

Asking if she could sit on the other swing.

Maggie nodded, barely believing what was happening.

Alex dropped her shoes in the sand and sat, curling an arm around the chain closer to Maggie and laying the other in her lap.  She didn’t say anything, just watched the ocean.

Maggie stared at the sand.  Her heart pounded in her ears.  Pressure rose in her chest.  Her eyes itched with the urge to look.

She lasted a few minutes before it became too much.

“What are you doing here?”

She kept her eyes on the sand as she asked, not wanting to see Alex’s reaction.

“I’m…not sure, actually.”

“You’re skipping prom for unknown reasons?”

There were a few moments of silence.  Then-

“Max got us a hotel room.”

Maggie blinked.  She finally turned.

Alex was staring at the water.  Her brows were furrowed.  Maggie couldn’t help but notice how beautiful she looked in the moonlight.

“I didn’t understand,” Alex continued.  “I kept, turning him down, pushing  _ it  _ off, y’know?”  She shrugged.  “I just…didn’t know why.  And Max has been getting more and more persistent, and it’s been getting harder to say no.  I just always feel so guilty after.  Like, I’m failing, but I just…I don’t think I like him like that.  Or at all, really.”

“Then why are you with him?”

Alex sucked in a breath.  She glanced at Maggie for a second before looking back at the water.  Maggie’s stomach clenched.

No.  It wasn’t possible.

“I have a list,” Alex said.  She shook her head and gave a self-deprecating laugh.  “I didn’t even realize I made it, but…”  She breathed for a few moments before shaking her head.  “He’s smart.  He can be funny.  He’s cute, I guess.  He’s always nice to Kara, and respectful to my mom.  He was there for me after…”

Alex squeezed her eyes shut and breathed deeply.  Maggie fought urge to reach out and pull her into a hug.  At school, it was so easy to forget that Alex had lost her father just a few months ago.  It had only been Maggie’s third week at the school, but even she had heard all about it.

Alex shook her head and opened her eyes.  “He was there.  And he’s…he’s…”

Alex swallowed.  Her jaw trembled lightly.  The arm in her lap wrapped around her waist.  The urge to hug her grew even stronger.

“He’s a boy,” Alex finally forced out.  “I’m supposed to be the perfect daughter.  Perfect grades.  Perfect college lined up with the perfect degree program.  I do what I can to help Kara, to help my mom around the house after…”  She took a deep breath but pushed forward.  “Perfect.  And that includes the perfect boyfriend, cause how can I be perfect if I…”

Maggie watched Alex.  The confusion on her face had turned into fear.  She was still staring towards the horizon, but didn’t seem to actually be seeing it.

“If you…?” Maggie softly prompted.

“If I don’t like boys.  If I…if I like girls instead.”

Alex made a noise that sounded part laugh part sob.  Tears rolled down her cheek even as a smile tugged at her lips.  She took a deep breath and nodded.

“I…”  She turned to Maggie.  “I like girls.”

Her eyes were wide, dark, glistening with tears.  They were scared, but also hopeful.

Maggie forgot to breath for a moment.

It wasn’t just ‘I like girls’.  It was also ‘I like  _ you _ .’

For a moment, she couldn’t believe it, she didn’t believe it.  It had to be a set up.  She was going to do something stupid like kiss Alex, then Max and his friends would pop out of their hiding places, and…

And Alex looked so scared, looked so relieved, Maggie couldn’t believe she would do something like that.

“I do, too,” Maggie said.   _ I like girls, too.  I like  _ you _ , too _ .

Alex grinned.  She looked back at the water, and let out a relieved breath before her head dropped forward.  She pulled her bottom lip between her teeth for a moment before speaking again.

“I, um, I’ve noticed that you wear Iron Maiden shirts, and there’s a cover band, The Iron Maidens, playing in Greenville next Friday.  I may be able to get us tickets.”

Maggie stared at Alex.  Just stared.

Alex had…noticed her, had paid attention.  Except-

“I hate Iron Maiden.”

She spoke without thinking, and the way Alex’s face fell made her heart clench.  She quickly continued.

“They’re my aunt’s shirts.  They’re just really soft, and I think the art is kinda cool, but if you like them…”

She cut off as Alex laughed.

“I hate them, too.”  Alex rubbed the back of her neck.  “The art museum in the city is pretty cool.  They got a Dada exhibit last month I’ve heard good things about.”

“Are you asking me on a date to a museum?”

Alex blushed.  She shrugged.  She kicked her feet through the air.

Maggie laughed.  “Make it the science museum, and I think I could be persuaded.”

Alex turned to her.  Her lips were pressed together as if she was trying to keep herself from smiling.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

Alex’s grin burst free.  Maggie looked to the ocean, then down at her lap, unable to keep her own smile hidden.

Maybe, maybe liking girls wasn’t so wrong.

Maybe.

**Author's Note:**

> I would like to note that their issues don’t, in fact, vanish because they start dating. They do still have a lot to work through.
> 
> This is not going to be a series. If I write anything else in this au, it will be the same story from Alex pov, and possibly one set further down the line, first in college, then in the current time of the show (most likely with Lucy, cause I can’t help it).


End file.
